Tag Archives: Health

Worth

 

 

There comes a time when one must ask themselves, “What am I worth?”

Worth is a funny thing. It boils down to so many other emotions . . . fear, love, shame, self-esteem, guilt, pride. But the core value of how you live your entire life comes to one inescapable conclusion . . . do you think you are worthy?

And because of all of this, I have come to my own inescapable truth . . . somewhere in the bottom of my soul, something has been causing me to live as though I am not. Something completely out of my control that someone sold me through guilt and shame and I bought it.

I’m thinking about seeing someone about all of this. I think what’s been holding me back is  a) fear and b) I need a bullshit-proof shrink. I need a therapist that other therapists see . . . someone who can sniff out the bullshit. The problem with what I feel, or fear rather, is that none of it is logical. Logically, I’m awesome. And I deserve love and goodness and success, just the same as everyone else. But whether this is logical or not, I have not been treating myself in a way that reflects this belief. I’m an emotional eater who keeps people at a distance in an effort to remain protected. This is not logical. But it’s there. And it obviously isn’t going away. And at this rate, I do not have the time to dilly-dally with it.

 So, on my almost 26th birthday, I’m making a commitment to treat myself well. And though scary, this is my first step . . .

 

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Things I Love Thursday!

 

♥ The Puppydog Feeling Better ~ This weekend the puppydog came down with some eye gunk meets red eye that’s better described by the vet as a bacterial infection. Whatever. It’s eye gunk and it needed to be rooted out immediately! If there’s one thing I can’t stand it’s my dog being sick or sickly or pudgy or anything falling under the heading of “not well taken care of”. It irks me. I can’t stand people who don’t take care of their pets, it’s like not taking care of your kids. Unacceptable. Anyways, eye gunk. So she had a nice visit to the vet to the tune of $160 dollars and thankfully a laundry list of items later she is much more up to snuff. I even renewed her microchip and license. Guess she’s stuck with us now. Seeing as how she’s passed out comfy at the foot of my bed, something tells me she doesn’t mind.

♥ Magical Bruises ~ On the outside my legs and feet are healing nicely. I don’t look quite so much like I got beat up by the curb. However, I am sort of sad to see them go. I know it’s weird, but I kind of find bruises and the whole healing process fascinating. If they go away, I’m just stuck with the ucky pain of being broken and the itchy/annoying swelling meets healing. Blargh. And believe you me, when I saw that damn sink hole in the pavement outside subway yesterday, I definitely shook my fist at it with stern disapproval.

♥ The Spot Bot ~ I know I’ve written about it before, but it bears repeating this week: I LOVE my spotbot. There’s nothing quite like going out to dinner with the pops after a loooooong day and then coming home to poo paw prints all over your cream colored carpet. Poo alone is no bueno, but having it tracked around . . . extra gnarly! It’s like a kid who leaks out of his diaper and then things it makes a nice wall decoration. Grody. So this time I got to use the hose attachment for the first time. Word to the wise: using it with the brush is a lot more affective. But boy howdy, that thing got my carpet clean as a whistle lickity split! Thank heavens.

♥Favorite Clients ~ Quickest way to become my fav client? Shower me with flowers, candy and gift cards to an amazing restaurant. How did you know that’s where I wanted to go?! He’s a very smart man . . .

Little Loves . . . 

♥Friday appointments! My volunteer meeting finally, then picking the pops up from the doc and then HP with the girly. Wahoots! ♥ Bing cherries. I lo-lo-love cherries. I’m so happy it’s cherry season. ♥ Budgeting again. It sucks to have to take a realistic look at where you are and what mini (or major) hole you might be in, but working your way through really makes the world look a little brighter. ♥ Curls in my hair again ♥ Rediscovering my vintage pin collection. It’s like buying new jewelry without the wallet ouch! ♥ New friends and old friends ♥ Feeling ok about saying no to the east coast this year. I hated doing it, but I know it’s the right decision for me right now. ♥ Goal setting again ♥ Letting go of the need to rush and refocusing on me ♥ Dinner with the fam ladies! I love girly dinners where you can sit and relax with the fam. ♥ My plush red heart pin ♥ Fresh clean sheets ♥ A reminder of rain. Please let this simply be a brief stop on the way back to summer town. ♥ The upcoming cultural season. I can hardly wait! ♥ The promise of warm weather this weekend ♥ Groupon quick deals – aka $10 for $5 to subway today. Word to the wise: They are for that day only so you better be prepared to use and don’t step in that blasted pot hole! ♥ Thursday being my friday this week. Hello casual thursday! ♥ Conversations that make your cheeks hurt because you laugh and smile so much ♥ Not being afraid to spill your guts. Sometimes you just need to because it’s funny.Even if it’s a story about peeing on your own foot. ♥ Open-minded men. Oh  how I heart you! ♥ My doggy daydreaming. Perhaps she’s secretly thinking of the dog park this weekend . . . ♥ Getting my sewing done finally ♥ Cleaning. I am by golly determined to clean my room this weekend!!! ♥ Cilantro lime chicken ♥ My planter herb garden suddenly growing like mad ♥ Bowling ♥

♥ Evening sunsets

♥ Robin Hood Men In Tights

 

Happy thursday lovies!

A Tale of Two Dates

 

I debated on whether or not to share this interesting experience from this weekend because I don’t want it being thought of as the definition of my weekend for it certainly was not. It was a blip. But it was a weird enough blip to warrant a tale. This, is that tale . . .

Girl decides to try dating again after a year hiatus. Mysteriously uninformative boy-disguised-as-man persuades girl to go out to dinner. They have a marginally ok time and end it alright, but girl decides that due to potential cultural differences in attitude, etc it’s no bueno and lets him know the next morning after ample thinkage.

Fast forward . . . keep on cruisin, keep on cruisin . . .

After much debate and several other people’s opinions later, including boy’s, girl rethinks original decision under the premise of wanting to make sure she was not being an unnecessarily pre-judgemental wench and decides to go best 2 outta 3. Ha. Ha. Ha. Stupid girl.

Flash to a warm summer day. Girl meets boy, despite awesome, I mean slight, argumentativeness and they head on their way and proceed to have a surprisingly wonderful afternoon complete with munchies and boating. Well done sir. Boy even pays for girl. Not expected, but smart boy. Day comes to a close and girl finally feels comfortable with boy. Big surprise. Doin’ good. Girl goes up (it’s definitely still light out) and after slight inevitable “what are we doing” awkwardness, couch snuggles ensue. Girl thinks “Hmmm ok, this could be ok, I could handle this.” And then that thought is quickly dashed to shreds thanks to boy-turned-jackass. Way to be.

There is no need to go into details, but I will say this . . . While some girls may not make you work for it, I’m not one of them. And while me being from here may make you think it’s easy to get into my pants (or me into yours), you should think twice because what that really means is I will tell you no when I damn well please and by golly I get the right to decide when and furthermore, if, you belong anywhere near my body. And if you don’t like that, tough nuggies. Go kiss a cactus. And if you really don’t like that, I’ve got a knee with your name on it.

My point in all of this? Hope.

I have hopes for each of my readers. For the men, I hope that you have enough sense to realize you attract more bees with honey than vinegar. That you respect a woman enough to wait for her comfort level, whether that’s right away or down the road a bit. That you understand that you are a lucky man if your date ends with a really good hug and a kiss after you paid for her.

For the women, I hope that you show yourself love by listening to your gut, it’s there for a reason. That you are willing to say no if that’s what you need. I hope that you understand and believe that no man ever should make you feel bad for needing time and if he does, there’s the door. And most of all, I hope you know that a man being near your body is a privilege for him, not a right.

Hugs & Love

 

Grumblecakes

There is always that.

Tonight is an uber short post. Thankfully I did most of my TiLT earlier this week so there wasn’t a lot to do there and I did it when I was a happy camper. If I did it now, no bueno. This week has been a roller coaster it feels like and frankly, I feel like I got dragged over the hump today. It was kind of crappy and I had a whole plan for this afternoon/evening that quickly by the wayside. I left work and the pain came. A killer migraine and my entire body wants to curl up into the fetal position and cry right now. My kidneys hurt and the rest of my body doesn’t want to move. Going to dinner with the pops and helping him briefly with the t set was about all I could muster. I don’t even want to get up and get my comforter out of the dryer. With the way I feel now, if tomorrow wasn’t going to be nice and I thought I thought it’d be ok, I’d stay home. And damnit, I was planning on partaking in ladies night at the golf course and playing with my new $3 drivers. Bummer. I was already cranky from the day and not having food in my tummy hardly, but this just adds insult to injury. Maybe God said let there be humbleness for tomorrow. Maybe I’m just meant to keep my head down and my mouth shut tomorrow and do my work and go home. Who knows. Either way, I’m not a fan of feeling like this.

Grumblecakes.

Things I Love Thursday!

Mother. Hubbard. What a nuttykins week!!! On top of being a bad plant mommy, I feel like I’ve been a cruddy blogger this week. I fell asleep super duper early monday only to wake up at 3:30 in the morning and not being able to fall back asleep. I got reamed and the reinvented myself and now it’s been mucho busy. I love busy, but I love breathing too. I long for a good soak in a big tub! I have a new order in from a client that will be lovely for a lil extra spending coin, a test bunny client, phones up the wazoo and a program to kick into high gear. Plus restarting my sugar challenge. I fell off the good boat into the hormonal sea and oh no, bad J. Silly bean. I commit to getting back on track with my sugar challenge and to coming back to the blogosphere!

 Little Loves . . .

New hairs!  Blue tshirts  The Bissell Spotbot being 20 bucks cheaper + a $20 gift card  Seeing my sister and meeting her family  Sunshine in Seattle  Talking to my fav people  Finally getting my BLT! I’ve had a ridiculous hankering for a month now and it was perfect  Puppy play days  Getting 3 new clients! ♥ Delicious margaritas courtesy of my fabulous not-quite-bartender-turned-coworker  Planning a 4th of July trip ♥ Mr Roger’s sweaters ♥ “He beered it out of me!”  My Decemberists concert NOT being cancelled  Being suckered in to tickets to the next opera season  Magazine subscriptions  Finally hearing back about my volunteer application  A groupon to the double decker pink tour bus and a p-perk for a surprise dome car train trip for my pops  FINALLY doing laundry . . . because it needed to be done  Falling asleep to frog noises  Seeing the first ice cream truck of the season  My beautiful friend going to Honduras. I’m so jealous!  Wondering what I want my life to look like from here forward ♥ Man deodorant – Fiji old spice. Yum!  “I’m sorry, you need to go away. You’re wafting.”  My moomoo and her lil heart . . . even if it is misguided all the way around the block by Boo  Drinks after work Single-servings of guac  Graham Crackers and milk! My lord how you’ve saved me!  Pants deliveries  Creamsicles  “the heart grows weaker every time we do something opposite of what we feel”  The “Real Men Don’t Buy Girls” campaign to end sex trafficking. This plague on our society has recently been thrust into the spotlight and I’m happy it finally has. It’s about time! 

The Paul Smith Love Too Wall Hanging From The Carrie Bradshaw Apartment. Must. Make. One.

The Little Nash Rambler song by The Playmates

 
A Silent Film’s impromptu cover of Teenage Dream

http://bcove.me/t7695wzd

 

Happy Thursday ladies and jellyspoons!

 

Why I Quit Sugar

 

I briefly touched on my recent decision to quit sugar earlier, but I wanted to go into it more indepthly.
Here’s some sweet facts . . .

The Lowdown On Sugar: There are four kinds of natural sugar – lactose, glucose, sucrose and fructose. Your body has the ability to process every type except fructose. Originally, our body was designed to process natural items such as proteins, grains, nuts, vegetables and fruits. Since the time when our bodies were designed, say even in the last 40 to 50 years, our portion sizes have grown exponentially and so has our desire for artificially created items. Now don’t get me wrong, I love a ho ho and a ding dong as much as the next girl, however, my arse seems to love them too. Milk has lactose in it which your body is capable of processing though some people experience intolerance to it. Table sugar is 50% glucose and 50% fructose. Your body is not designed with the ability to process fructose well and because of this does not register those calories and the fullness you should get from eating. This in turn makes you eat more to get “full”.

The Addiction: In the simplest form of the term, food can be an addiction. People comfort themselves with food. The garner pleasure and feel good with food. They get hankerings for certain tastes and because they’re body is acclimated, it requires more to become satisfied as time goes on. Dopamine is the hormone produced by receptors in your body that register pleasure. Drugs like heroine and meth inhibit dopamine receptors which is why addicts will forever chase their first high and need more and more to gain the same amount of pleasure. Studies have shown that fructose also can inhibit your dopamine receptors and therefore you require more and more to gain pleasure of it. Hence why you can eat a gazillion m&ms and not realize it. There is also thought behind the idea that it is not about will power and failing, but rather your own body chemistry and how it changes..

The Math: The FDA requires all food products to include the ingredients on packaging and serving size. It blew my mind to come across the concept that they are done in concepts of 100’s. I.E. 25g of sugar = 25%. As a whole, it is said you don’t want something that is beyond 6 to 8g sugar.

How It Applies To Me: Aside from the occasional graham cracker, I’m off sugar and have been for 4 days now. No sodas, no candies, no ice cream, etc etc. When I get the hankering for something sweet, I instead eat fruit, protein or fat (i.e. nuts, cheese, etc). Because your body was designed to process this and these things fill you up fast, a little goes a long way and you have no room for other things. I have already been off pastas for weeks upon weeks now so that isn’t a stretch and I pretty much only ate whole grains to begin with. I’ve also read potential that coming off sugar and resetting your body can help your hormones. To a woman who’s been melting in hot flashes and migraines the last two days, you wouldn’t believe how AMAZING that would be!

Thus far I’m feeling good. My face and body has slimmed down and I feel like I’m processing things better. I won’t lie, the cravings hit and when they do they suck. A lot. Thank God I can eat cheese! But I rationalize that it’s a trade-off. And are those things worth it compared to what I gain out of it. I’ll be sure to keep you posted on this adventure!

One Day I Will Have A Man That Smells Like My Left Arm . . .

 

One Day I Will Have A Man That Smells Like My Left Arm.
And Other Such Goodness . . .

 

Oh thank heavens this week is overwith. I could not take one more day of the work week. And despite all of the busyness going on at work, I don’t even mind that. But it’s tense right now for sensical nonsense reasons and thus I counted down the hours while longing to escape . . .

And come 4:30, I was escaping like my pants were on fire! First I took myself out to a movie. Every once in a while, you need a movie date night. Saw Fast Five. Other than a stupid part that was crappy acted, the rest of the movie was great. Exactly what I’ve come to expect. And here’s a hint: If you go see, stay through the credits, there’s a little something extra.

Afterwards I had too much good vibe going on to head home, so I opted to go spend my groupon to The Body Shop instead. I was quickly reminded why I haven’t stepped foot in malls in years . . . I hate them. Pretty much everything about the mall I can’t stand. The crowds, the hard floors, the overabundance of noise. Yeah, no thanks. The only thing making me subjecting myself to this is groupon goodness. $45 for $20 in fact. To be honest, I can’t stand girls smells. I don’t like complex, fruity, frilly smells. The hubub hurts my nose. So places like parfumeries and bath & body shops are not a place I frequent. Just the same it’s nice to treat yourself to some goodness every once in a while that makes you feel perdy. After circling the store like a crazy lady 3 times, I kept finding myself being drawn to the men’s scents. This after happens to me. They are simple and if nothing else, remind of a man. My right arm came out smelling lovely, something I could wear myself. One day, my man will smell like my left arm. In the end I came out with a tub o’ Shea body butter, a lip moisturizer, a green tote bag and ruby red lips for this weekend. I felt a little daring . . .

I’m getting the urge to shake things up in my life and it won’t go away. I’m not all together unhappy or anything, but I get the very distinct pull to be something other than what I currently am. I have a feeling this year’s going to be a wild ride!

How are you feeling? Do you need to change it up?