An open letter and a promise to myself . . .
I have decided to let you go. My heart dearly wishes it were otherwise because you are lovely, but my gut tells me through knots that it is the right decision. If my one goal in life is to be honest and to love, then it starts with me. I like how we are and that you make me laugh, but I know that isn’t all there needs to be. And I’ve clued back in that I want and deserve more. I’ve come to realize that I brought down my walls with you not because of you or because I cracked, but simply because I wanted to see if I could still feel. I can. It is a necessary part of growth and finding good to be willing to be vulnerable and to feel everything, for a long time I’ve numbed and avoided that. I know I can no longer do this if I want to move forward. You helped me with that and I will have a special place in my heart for you. I will miss this part of you and will send you light and love every time I think of you. But whether it is no, not yet or I have something better in mind . . . I know that letting go of you is the right place for me to be right now. I am not the person you think I am, nor am I the person I’m yet meant to be. But I’m getting there.
“I know you feel awful, but your life is changing and that’s not a bad thing. If you could clear out all of that space in your mind that you’re using to obsess over this guy, you’d have a vacuum with a door way. You know what the universe would do to that doorway? Rush in! Fill you with more love than you ever dreamed of. I think you have the capacity someday to love the whole world.”